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You can't control drugs, they control you

"You can't control drugs, they control you. You only realize it when you can't stop anymore" - former drug user

Image source: © Canva
Materiały Prasowe,
23.10.2023 12:00

"Many people have the impression that they control drugs, but, in fact, it's entirely the opposite. You realize it's an addiction only when you can't stop anymore. And you can't find a way out..."

This is the testimony of a 22-year-old from Cluj-Napoca, a former drug user since the age of 12. Alexandru entered the world of drugs after being a victim of bullying for a long time by those in his circle of friends.

He says drugs were easy to obtain, especially when he was in high school. "In every class, there were at least two or three drug dealers. I mean, there were about 20-30 drug dealers in school".

After years of failed attempts, he eventually managed to close this dark chapter in his life after checking into a center for addiction treatment belonging to an NGO.

"I was crying my heart out, but I knew I had to go there. Now I finally feel liberated", he confesses.

Alexandru is still in the center, but his treatment is nearing completion. After spending nearly a year at the Teen Challenge center, he says that "nothing can equal the feeling of joy" he experiences now.

However, to get out of his drug and gambling addiction, he spent staggering amounts of money. "I lost 30,000 euros in just two months, money that many would use as a down payment on an apartment", he says in an interview for MyImpact, conducted by Robert Hoară.

When did you first use drugs?

Alexandru: "At the age of 15, I first used marijuana, and at the age of 19, I also started using powders and pills".

Where did you use marijuana?

"I was with friends at a guy's house. They had used it occasionally, and they said, 'Come on, give it a try!'. 'Let me give it a try, to see what it's like'. After that, I moved on to using at cabins, New Year's Eve parties, clubs, parties, anywhere".

What was high school like? I'm interested in this, was it easy to get drugs?

"Incredibly easy. In my case, at least, being in a large high school in the city, one of the most renowned in Cluj-Napoca, there were at least two or three drug dealers in every class. I mean, we're talking about a high school - there were four classes, so there were about 20-30 drug dealers in the school. Plus, outside the high school. Drugs are flourishing. You can get them whether you want them or not".

Why did your classmates start? What was the allure? I believe it was also about being cool...

"Yes, for the most part, I don't know, they would align themselves, form a group of three or four people, and that was the fun. We used to go out, clubbing, then do drugs, and so on. And at some point, the drugs get you and there's nothing you can do about it.

Meaning you consume so often that you don't realize you're entering an addiction from which it's very difficult to escape. You may not recover from it for years. And when you realize you're addicted, you'll do anything to get rid of it".

But many deny it, saying that "I only smoke occasionally"...

"Many people think they control drugs, but in fact, it's completely the opposite. Most people can't control drugs. Any addiction, it can't really be controlled. You realize it's an addiction when you can't stop anymore, but for the most part, they control you. You can't control them".

Besides drugs, you also told me about gambling...

"Yes, for me, gambling meant a seven-year addiction, during which I ended up stealing money from my parents, taking out loans, leaving the country to make money for gambling, taking money from work...

It's an even bigger problem because, just like with drugs, you don't realize when you have a lot of debt. Only when you reach a breaking point do you realize that 'hey, I'm really addicted and I have to do something about it'.

At the age of 12, I played for the first time, and at 16, I became addicted. At the age of 12, I was out with a friend. There was a UEFA Champions League night and he said, 'Hey, I'm going to bet two lei', to which I replied 'Let me try it too'.

And from there, I started betting more and more. I would ask others to place bets for me, because I was too young to be allowed in betting houses. And the addiction continued until I resorted to stealing money from my parents, pawning phones and other belongings my parents had bought for me, and so on".

How did you manage to stop?

"I had a breaking point. I was in Germany, working supposedly to pay off the debts from my addiction. I went abroad to make money. But in reality, the money I spent there was sent by my mom from Romania. (...) I was hospitalized in psychiatry, and my mom said: 'Alex, we need to do something. You have to come home, but first, you need to change'.

I asked, 'How do we do that?'. She said, 'I know of a rehabilitation center, Teen Challenge, an 11-month and 2-week program'. I said, 'Mom, I'll go', without knowing the context.

When my mom told me that you could not use your phone or smoke cigarettes during the program, I said, 'Mom, I can't do that'. She replied, 'Well, think about it', and kept urging me to consider it. In the end, I listened to the stories of some of my peers on YouTube and called my mom.

I was at work, and I said, 'Mom, -while crying-, I have to go there. I have a serious problem, and only now do I realize how low I am'. I had an interview with Team Challenge. And I was accepted.

And when I was accepted, I video called my mom and we both started crying tears of joy that I had been accepted into the rehabilitation center. I really wanted to change and that's how I ended up here. I never lacked anything, like clothes or anything.

But the circle of friends... I was heavily bullied as a child. I was beaten by friends for years and my refuge was still in gambling and drugs. All those friends who beat me told me not to consume drugs, but they did. And in a way, I took refuge in gambling. (…)

In two and a half months, I had lost 30,000 euros, a sum many would use as a down payment on an apartment. I lost it in just two months.

There's nothing that can compare to the feeling of joy I have now because I'm here. Many people would say, 'It's a lie, it's nonsense'. I thought the same at first, in the first two or three weeks, 'I can't live without cigarettes, without a phone. I'm leaving'.

But I feel so liberated now and I've started to like this place, even love it. I feel just like home. It's an unimaginable feeling when I see how much change happens daily".

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