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"What did you do at school?" / "What grade did others get?". What impact do these questions have on a child

"What did you do at school?" / "What grade did others get?". What impact do these questions have on a child

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Materiały Prasowe,
25.09.2023 15:04

We draw a comparison between the school grade and the diagnosis given by a doctor. According to the law, a doctor is not allowed to make a patient's diagnosis public.

The teacher has the right to tell a student's grade in front of the class? We ask this question and link it to depression.

Social comparison can lead to depression. Explanations on Wellness doctor.

Ovidiu Pânișoară, university professor, Faculty of Psychology: "I ask students, 'What salary would you like without exaggerating?' We double that number. And starting tomorrow, you're employed! You're like Snow White, birds appear and chirp around you. Until you find out your colleague negotiated a salary not two, but three times higher. This leads us to depression".

In the context of school. Most Western countries have an electronic student record. The teacher knows the grades and only the student in question finds out. Or the parent. Not the entire class.

In school, accurate assessment is made in relation to the individual. At the beginning of the school year, they are at one level. In contrast to the beginning, my development will be assessed solely in relation to myself. This is communicated only to me. This means motivation and building self-confidence.

Ovidiu Pânișoară, university professor, Faculty of Psychology: "I compare students in a class. I already have a problem, and social comparison -the 'crabs in a bucket' mentality- is learned within the family in Romanian society. 'You have to be more beautiful than the other, you don't have to be rich, but richer than the other'. It's a damaging comparison. We end up with an extremely high level of depression. I shouldn't care about the class level. I received a grade for what I can do in relation to myself".

You're constantly comparing yourself to the external, to others. Anxiety ensues. The first brick of the illnesses called anxiety and depression disorder.

What can a parent do? Tell your children clearly: "I'm happy to be with you!" ; "I'm happy to have you!". Wait for their reaction. Your first question should not be: "What did you do at school?"; "What grade did you get?" ; "What grades did others get?".

Elena Brănaru, board-certified pediatric psychiatrist: "If a child is sad, unhappy, performing poorly at school, it would be better to start inquiring, not to consider them stupid and that they have poor performance at school. It's very important to talk from one person to another, not from image to image".

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