Breaking up hurts, but everyone deals with it differently: a specialist gave advice on how to survive it
Painful life experiences tend to leave a mark, and a break-up is one of such cases. How to make it through this difficult time, especially if you are relatively young? Ineta Zukauskaite, emotional well-being specialist and mentor, tried to answer this question.
Equally painful to everyone
According to Zukauskaite, a break-up is a painful experience to everybody. It does not even matter if we still loved the partner or not.
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"When a relationship ends, all kinds of uncomfortable feelings arise because we start thinking that we hurt another person or that they hurt us. It is often hard to part ways with someone who was close, important, and let’s not forget all the effort that had been put in," – she explained.
People deal with separation differently.
"Some close themselves off, other look for new relations. Some cannot take the loss and start drinking or using drugs, etc. Probably this means that there had been some pain beforehand," Zukauskaite said.
Useful advice
According to the emotional well-being specialist, in order to be able to let go, certain things should be remembered.
"I think that the healthiest way is to scrutinize the reasons of a break-up. Quite often people get together with different love languages and types of attachment. These are definitely not the deciding factors because people who have a deep desire to be together, can overcome various hardships, but a different understanding of what love is and how I express it to my partner may lead to separation and even make the difficult "healing" phase even harder," she explained.
Zukauskaite also gave some advice on how to survive this hurtful period and "recover" faster. Her suggestions are seemingly simple and clear, but when emotional distress strikes, many people forget them completely.
"Find time for yourself, relax more, do not hold feeling inside, let them out, seek help, if you start feeling worse or do not know how to help yourself. You can also try writing a diary, if you get angry – let it out in the gym. If you do not have relatives, get a pet. I repeat: if your emotional and physical state is getting worse, it is very important to seek professional help," she concluded.