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Examining the role of tears: Should ā€œreal menā€ cry?

Examining the role of tears: Should "real men" cry?

Image source: Ā© canva
Marta Grzeszczuk,
25.09.2024 16:15

A viral video of two young men openly discussing their experiences with crying has sparked a heated debate. Is crying 'unmanly'? What does science say?

In a TikTok street poll, two young men were asked when they last cried. One responded: "It was today because I had to pay PLN 10 at work for a cash register shortfall." The other admitted: "About a week ago." When asked why, he explained: "I just felt down. A lot of small things built up and got to me."

Is it true that "real men" don't cry?

An anonymous user on X shared the viral TikTok video with the caption: "Weā€™ve raised a generation of emotionally disturbed crybabies. These are men in their prime, yet they look like lost Pokemons. This is the result of not being raised with a firm hand or having compulsory military service." The post went viral, prompting widespread debate.

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Some commenters agreed, with responses like: "The last time I cried was when my dad spanked me in primary school," and "Iā€™m crying as I watch this." However, many pushed back, arguing that promoting the stereotype of emotionless men (interestingly, anger and aggression are not considered emotions in this construct) is damaging. Popular X user Andrzej ŚledÅŗ remarked: "This ā€˜strong generationā€™ of men like those commenting here, instead of addressing their problems, often falls into alcoholism or suicide."

Activist Maja Staśko also commented, stating: "Men who arenā€™t ashamed to cry and show emotions or talk about them are essential for a healthy society. Without regulating emotions, and crying helps with that, crises worsen, and men hesitate to seek help, with tragic consequences."

The TikTok video also suggested that women believe a crying man isnā€™t "a real man." One interviewee countered: "Crying is human; regardless of gender, we all cry. The idea that a ā€˜real manā€™ doesnā€™t cry is a harmful stereotype."

Why do people cry?

It is important to remind ourselves why we cry and what purpose it serves. Crying, a natural reflex of the body fulfils two key functions. Firstly, as Maja Staśko pointed out, it helps regulate emotions by releasing tension through a physiological response. Some studies suggest that tears may even help expel the stress hormone cortisol from the body.

However, psychologists widely agree that the primary function of crying is to strengthen and maintain social bonds. Professor Michael Trimble, a leading expert in the field and a behavioural neuroscientist, explained this in an interview with BBC Radio.

"The same neuronal areas of the brain are activated by seeing someone emotionally aroused as being emotionally aroused oneself," Prof Trimble said. "There must have been some point in time, evolutionarily, when the tear became something that automatically set off empathy and compassion in another. Actually being able to cry emotionally, and being able to respond to that, is a very important part of being human."

Source: x.com, time.com

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